Nothing breaks my heart more

Chepntich Ominia

I walked into the room and every bed was full. It was a room given to all the pediatric children that had been discharged. She was the first child I noticed, but not the first one that I talked with. As Reika was asking another mama about her child’s situation, I was making faces and smiling at little Chepnatich. Every time I made eye contact with her she would giggle and throw the blanket over her head. Once we had made our way around the room we finally got to Mr. Ominia.

I was very interested in what had happened to her because she had a massive cast that covered her hips and legs. She was not able to move at all. The father told us, “She fell backwards and slid on her back.” After hearing the story I knew that the father was hiding something from us, but there was no way of finding out what that was. In Kenya, there aren’t investigators that go to the homes to assess the situation and stories, even if they don’t match up. The father was asking us if we could assist him in paying his bill. He had been discharged for over a week, but could not leave because he had no money to pa. At one point he actually told us that he had money, but when his wife was going to bring it to the hospital his brother went to her and stole it. He said that he was a drinker, and took it to the pub. This is a story that we hear very often.

We informed him that we would talk to the legal officer about his situation, but that he would have to pay at least half of his bill. For the next two weeks we continually pestered the father to some how come up with some money, because his bill was only getting higher. He told us day after day that someone was supposed to be bringing money. Every time we would visit with the father, little 5- year-old Chepntich would just smile, throw the covers over her head, and laugh. I never saw her cry or complain. I couldn’t help but laugh every time I saw her. She always seemed to warm up my heart. I found myself looking for her every time I walked through pediatrics.

When we left for the village we figured they would be gone when we returned, but we were very wrong. Upon getting back to the hospital we were told that Mr. Ominia, the father, had left her in the hospital the same day we went to the village. She was alone in the hospital for a total of two weeks. We did everything we could to locate the father, but he didn’t have any phone number or contact. He also lived in the Bush, which really made it impossible to find him. We also really wanted to talk to him because we had received new information about Chepntich’s injury. The mothers that had children, located in the same room as Chepnitch , had started caring for her. They were being Good Samaritan’s. They were not only buying her food, but bathed her, wheeled her around in her chair, and loved on her. These mothers informed us that Chepntich had just started talking for the first time, and that Chepnitch informed them that her very own mother had “thrown her out.” Her mother had gotten into a fight with the father, and out of anger, she took a giant wooden beam and threw it at little Chepntich. My heart crumbled upon hearing this story.

On Friday that father of Chepnatich finally returned. We had sent word all around the area that he lived that if he didn’t show up soon Chepntich would be considered abandoned, and she would be taken to a children’s home. When he returned he informed us that he had also found money through world vision that would pay for her bill, because she is being sponsored through them. After figuring out the financial details we started asking more questions about her injury. We informed him of the allegations that we had been told, and he got very angry. He said, “This is the first time that I’ve even heard such a story. I was not home when she was hurt, but my wife told me she fell.” This is all that we were able to get out of the father.

After talking to the father we went to Chepntich to see if she would talk to us. We asked her to tell us what had happened and again she told us that her mother had hurt her. She said, “I don’t want to go home.” This was the first time that I could see fear in her eyes. As we were talking to Chepntich we could see the father, in the distance, having someone translate what we were asking her. The last thing that Chepnatich said to us was, “Can I go home with you. Please.” I squatted down to her level, and held out my hand. She grabbed it and held onto it. She held onto it so tightly.

After assessing the situation I felt like I had hit a wall. We called Amy, our supervisor, and she told us that there was nothing more that we could do. We had to let him take her. It was so hard for me to just walk away. We informed the father that we were going to take Chepntichs allegation very seriously, and we were going to inform the children’s officer so that he could check up on her situation. He said that he understood. In reality though, her situation wont ever be followed up on. Child abuse is such a huge problem, and there are so many other problems that people consider more important. I really believe that child abuse is one of the most corrupt things in the world.

After we did all that we could for Chepntich we had to deal with four other indescribable child abuse cases. For example, we were referred to talk with a mother who was being accused of putting her two year old girl in a pot of boiling water. Her baby was unconscious and in the ICU. Or our third case was a child that had been paralyzed from the waist down because he had “fallen” and had been extremely neglected since. We were informed that he was brought in for bedsores. We had not seen the bedsores until we referred the physical therapist to come and look at them. I will never be able to put into words what I saw. His entire buttox was gone. The sore went straight to his bone and it was filled with infection and puss. Not only was his buttox gone, but also the both sides of his knees, his heals, hips, and even elbows. I thank God that he could not feel any of the pain. The physical therapist greatly apologized when she realized we had never seen anything like that before. She actually had to talk us out of shock. Reika and I both thought that we were going to faint.

It is only be the power and grace of God that we are able to go back to the hospital day after day. These are just a few stories of a small number of our clients. Some of them have happy endings, but so many of them have tragic ones. Reika and I have really grown to love our work here. We are already talking about how we can’t imagine working anywhere else, because this has been so good for us. Never in our lives did we think that we would be doing Social work in a hospital. We have learned so much about poverty, child abuse, learned helplessness, and international social work issues. It’s been so good. And it is going to be so hard to leave.

Janet from Friday

We asked her about her faith and she responded, “I pray every few days, and I read my bible, but only because I don’t have anything else to do.” When she sees herself in the future she doesn’t picture anything. After we failed at trying to convince her to start the ARV’s, we talked to Dr. Bemm. Together we decided that we needed to admit her and her child, but we didn’t necessarily admit them for physical reasons. Don’t get me wrong, they were both extremely malnourished, but not to the point of death. We admitted them in hopes of giving her a reason to live. We admitted her to share the gospel with her, and let her know that her life does matter; her child’s life matters; and she can overcome this….Many of you remember this story in a previous blog. Her name was Judy , and she had a one year-old son. She had give up hope on all means of life. She has been in the hospital for only two weeks and I would like to say, with a HUGE smile on my face, that one would not recognize her if they saw her. She is radiating with Joy. Every time I see her in the hospital she approaches me to shake my hand, and tells me how happy she is. She kept saying over and over, “Praise the Lord for saving my life. Praise the Lord for saving my child. I am like Lazarus. He has risen me from the grave.” I’ve never seen such a huge transformation in such a short amount of time. She wrote us a letter today informing Reika and I of all that the Lord has done in her life. She has so much passion for life. She informed me that she really wants to start her own little business so that she can support herself and her child. She no longer wants to die. Upon hearing this, Reika and I immediately went to the community health building. We talked with Simon, the person in charge, and informed him of her situation. He has agreed to support her. She wants to start selling dry corn in front of the large tea factory, which she lives right next to. We are going to provide her with three large bags of corn to get her started. She seems to be so motivated and excited. I can’t wait to follow-up with her in a few weeks to see how she is doing. For all who read this story and prayed for her…thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We so often forget the power of prayer, but it is one of our most powerful weapons.

the birds and the bees

beautiful

milking the cow and throwing up a little in my mouth haha...

a A few of the children that we fell in love with

This wasn't even the end of our trip and look how rough we look hahaha!!!! We still had a good few days to go without a shower.

Reika:“Is there a chicken under our bed?”

Caitlyn: “HAHAHAHA no wonder your allergies are so bad.”

This week Reika and I ventured off to the villages. We learned what it meant to live without running water (which meant no showers for us), had a 4:30am alarm clock from Mr. rooster and the baby cows, learned how to milk a cow, became professionals at killing flies, woke up from nightmares because of the mosquito nets falling on us and the cockroaches in our bed.

Reika and I learned what it meant to live a very simple life. We weren’t even able to see our own reflection for a whole week, which isn’t that long, but when you are used to getting ready in front of a mirror everyday…it really is. We lived with a beautiful family that, by the goodness of their hearts, took 24 orphans into their home, and support 170 orphans in the boarding school that they started.

We started our morning bright and early. After having chai and a piece of white bread, we headed to the school. We started off with the little pre-schoolers. They were precious. We played with them during recess, and helped them with their ABC’s in the classroom. The children LOVED to dance and sing. They were full of little songs and dances, and I believe I got them all on video. We quickly fell in love with them. The teachers were precious as well. Their love for the children was evident in every action they made. They had so much patience, and a child like spirit about them. We played with the children until lunchtime. After lunch we helped out with some of the P.E. classes for the older kids. This consisted of kicking the ball around in a circle or playing volleyball for the girls, and soccer for the boys. At 3pm the school director gathered all the girls, ages 12 and up, for us to talk about “girl stuff”. We had them give us characteristics of what they want and don’t want in their future husbands. We also covered the topic of abstaining from sex before marriage, and answered a lot of questions. We soon came to realize that, in the Kenyan culture, the parents don’t find it their responsibility to talk to their kids about these issues. I really love public speaking, so I enjoyed every part of it. The following day we talked with all the children ages 10 and up on hurtful words, gossip, and forgiveness. When we walked into the room we were faced with 200 children pilled on top of each other in a tiny little classroom.

Every evening we would return to the orphan home where we would have a cup of chai, and then we would go in the little hut of a kitchen and help prepare dinner in an 18^th century style. Everything was made over an open fire in a clay pot. It always smelled so good. I do believe that the kitchen was my favorite place on the property. I felt like I was Cinderella in the kitchen, without the being forced to work aspect.

At dinnertime we ate to the sounds of all 24 children singing songs in Kipsigis and playing the drum. It was such a beautiful sound. It brought so much joy to my spirit. A couple of night we went in their room to watch and sing-a-long. They loved quoting scripture for us as well. It was so sweet. The orphans really have my whole heart. God has made them my passion. Our meals consisted of the same thing…Ugali, rice, cabbage, beef stew, and fresh milk. By the second day I really started liking the ugali, but the milk and beef stew I never really acquired a taste for. Although, Reika said that it was the best milk she had ever tasted.

The third afternoon while we were in the school we just happen to hear a bunch of children singing. We decided to check it out. It was the children worshiping the Lord completely student led. And let me remind you that these children were from the ages of 4-14. It was one of the most powerful experiences that I’ve felt since being in Africa. I had chills all the way up my spin. When they prayed it was like they were crying out from the inner parts of their hearts, and when they sang, it was one of the most beautiful sounds that I’ve ever heard. It just reminded me of the verse 1Timothy 4:12-16 “ Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers…” God uses children to change the world. I truly believe that I saw God in the faces of orphans that afternoon.

The last 24 hours consisted of more laughter that I have experienced than the whole rest of my trip. We woke up around 6:30 to go milk the cows. Upon getting out of bed I realized that my foot was in an extreme amount of pain. I looked at it and quickly realized that it was very infected from the 2in. thorn I had stepped on the week before. I just ignored it, and I prayed it would go away. Reika was also having a rough morning. The first thing she said to me upon waking up was “Do my eyes look swollen?” Upon looking at her I immediately broke into laughter. I could hardly even see them. Not only were her eyes swollen from her allergies but she had two huge mosquito bites on one eye lid. And let me also remind you that we still had yet to shower. I was at the point where I could actually smell myself.

When we got to the cow pasture Reika was the first to give it a try. She made it look easy. After she decided she had enough it was my turn. I got in the correct position, placed my hands on the udders, and gave a pull. I quickly realized that milking was not for me. I could handle the front udders, but when trying to milk the back ones I’m pretty sure I threw up in my mouth a little. It makes me cringe just thinking about it. When walking back to the house I looked up from walking because I heard Reika say, “oh shoot”. The Director of the orphanage turned around to make sure we were okay, but quickly turned to the front again when he realized that Reika’s skirt had fallen off. He was so embarrassed. When she saw him looking at her she said, “oops…sorry this thing just fell off.” When I realized what had happened I was trying to hold in my laughter, but wasn’t doing a very good job. Especially when I realized not only did it fall off, but it had fallen into cow poop. Reika and I are both dying of laughter now just writing about it. As we sat down for lunch Elijah, the director, asked if we had slept okay. The reason he had asked this is because the previous night a fly and a mosquito got under our net. And Reika had just finished securing our whole bed to be sure that nothing got in. Reika was freaking out and trying to make me give her my book so she could kill them. I very respectfully said, “no way, get your own book.” As the mosquito got closer she got more nervous and started asking louder and louder as I was laughing harder and harder. Eventually she got her own book, and the next thing I heard was a loud SMACK. After about 5sec. we heard a knock on our door. It was Rachel saying, “Is everything okay in there.” Apparently Elijah had told her, “O my, what is going on in there. Rachel, please go check on your daughters.” I’m sure it sounded like we were fighting and then she just hit me. We responded, “Ohh, we are just fine. We just killed a lion.” She laughed, and then told Elijah, and then he laughed even harder. He had informed us earlier that day that a mosquito was even more dangerous than a lion because it takes so many more lives (from malaria)…so we started calling mosquitoes lions.

After playing with the kids for a while we had to say good-bye. It was so sad. I think the teachers were actually more upset than the children. They gave us about three hugs each and walked us to the gate. They told us that the children had said that they wanted to cry. We told them that we promised to return before going back to America. It was such a sweet moment.

Upon getting back to Tenwek we both took a deep breath upon walking into “our home”. I slowly limped in the door, because my foot had increasingly gotten worse. I then decided to go upstairs to see our neighbor, Mary, to assess the situation. She told me I needed to soak it in water. As I soaked it I felt like the pain was increasing. I tried elevating it, and it still killed. I was able to get on the internet, and after asking my sweet mom to pray I asked her what I should do. She reminded me that I live next to a hospital and I know all the doctors first hand. I called my supervisor, Amy, who sent her husband over to check it out. He is a doctor in the hospital. Upon entering in the door he had a look on his face of “what have you done now?” I smiled as much as I could and said, “help, I hurt my foot.” By this point my toes were going numb, and I was having trouble breathing. He looked at it and told me to get ready because what he was about to do was going to really hurt. I grabbed a pillow and after covering my face, I gave him the okay. As my eyes watered a lot and I screamed into the pillow, he pushed the infection out of my foot. When he stopped to take a break, I looked up at Reika and started laughing because she looked as if she was in more pain than I was. He grabbed my foot one more time and pressed as hard as he could (Thank God I have a high pain tolerance). When he was done I could not thank him enough. The only pain I felt was the pain from the bruise that I now have from him pushing so hard. All the pressure was gone. I could walk, and I was able to get a perfects night sleep. For all who knew about my foot…thank you for praying. The Dr. came about 10min. after I had informed my mother, whom I am sure e-mailed her entire address book to pray for me haha.

Reflecting on this week Reika just reminded me of how pure the people and children in the villages are. She said, “I would hate to see someone come over and westernize these people. They might seem like they have so little, but really they have everything that they need.” They have been given a family, food, clothing, shelter, and an education. They live such simpler lives, and since they do not know anything else, they are happy with it this way. The children can entertain themselves all day long just by having old painted tires to play with, a few pieces of string they use as jump ropes, and their voices to sing. A child elsewhere would never be content with such a small amount.

a week in the hospital

Life is full of challenges

Emotional challenges

Physical challenges

Spiritual challenges

Financial challenges

Challenges that are full of heartache and pain. Challenges so often seem impossible to overcome. If I didn’t find my hope in the Lord, every case that I was given this week would have left me 100% hopeless. Looking into the eyes of so many hopeless people remind me of how there is no way to live this life without giving it to the Lord first. Not only had so many of my patients given up on they’re own lives, but they had given up on their children’s lives. They let their circumstances overcome them. They looked at me and told me that they believe it is better for them, and their children, to die than deal with the challenges that come in life. The challenges that I have had to overcome in my own life are NOTHING compared to the people that I am working with. After working in the hospital this week I feel that I have no excuse to complain about ANYTHING ever again.



Monday: The reality of death, because of poverty, hit me hard. One of my 13 year-old patients died. She had congestive heart failure, and there was nothing more the doctors could do. I was trying to get her home to be with her family as she breathed her last breaths. She was so frail, and when looking at her face one could tell she was tired, scared, and confused. She was not talking at this point, so I asked her older brother all of the questions. I sat with her on her bed, shook her hand, and watched her eat, what was to be, her last meal. Seeing as how she was sitting up I had no idea she was so close to death. After lunch we went around the hospital to see a few other patients. About 45min. later we were hunted down by a few of the patients that were in the same room as her. They informed us she had died, and that no one was there. Her brother had just left the hospital to get some corn. She was alone. No one was there as this sweet little girl passed on. I can only pray that she did not feel alone. I pray that she knew the Lord. And I regret deeply not laying hands on her and praying for her before I left the room. I forget the power of prayer. I think we all forget the power of prayer. It also reminded me how short our lives are. God gives us life, and God also takes it away. My prayer is that I don’t waste my life. I don’t want to be on my death bed wondering if I made an impact, I want to be on my death bed with a sense of accomplishment knowing that I loved as hard as I could, prayed as passionately as I could, gave all that I could. The motto of Tenwek hospital is a constant reminder to me of why I am here, “We treat, Jesus Heals.”



Tuesday: I was called into the medical ward to talk with and assess a psychotic patient. She is 28 years old, and was an abandoned orphan. She is not married, and has no kids. After talking with her I realized she has No One. She has no one to help care for her, no one to encourage her, and no one to visit her in the hospital during visitor hours. After working with her all week I came quickly to find out that she has very high days and very low days. Some days she was completely unresponsive to anything we said and asked. She seemed to be in another world. Other days her eyes lit up like she could see the whole world through them. When she was happy she had eyes that made someone look at her twice and say “wow”. They were beautiful. Her case has been one of the most difficult. If she was in America she would be placed in a psychiatric ward, but they don’t have those here. It was time for her to leave the hospital, and we didn’t have a choice but to send her home. We worked on getting her paperwork finished all week. It was frustrating because every time we would get one paper signed and documented we would find out we needed to do something else. When we finally got her released we were on our way to go get her and put her in a taxi, and low and behold she had a seizure. No one really knows if it was a real seizure or if she was faking it because she is very crafty at pretending to be sick. I really think she would live at the hospital if she could. We are still working on her case.



Wednesday: Reika and I were walking around the different wards checking up on all of our clients. When we were in the medical ward a man approached us saying, “I really need help with my bill, because I can’t pay it.” This is the same thing we hear from all of our patients. We have not worked with one person that could actually pay their bill, but what was so interesting about this client was the reason why he was in the hospital. He looked perfectly fine. We asked him why he was admitted and he said “I was shot with an arrow by one of the Massai and I had to have major surgery.” “With an arrow” I repeated. Apparently this is very common. The Masai believe that they own ALL the cattle, so they go on to the Kipsigis land and simply take it. If the kipsisgis do not allow it than a war breaks out. In Kenya, instead of people getting hit by bullets it’s by arrows. Crazy!



Thursday: Thursday’s are always HIV clinic days. We sit in a little office and wait for Dr. Bemm to bring the patients to us. We do an assessment on their social well being, give them a few bags of food, and a water guard. Anna was the last patient that we met with. She was a mother of four, but only had her youngest child with her. After talking with her we found out that She used to be married, but left her husband when he married another wife (polygamy is very common here). She was with child at this time. Before giving birth she was informed that she needed to get HIV tested (this is required for all mothers who are with child). She said that she was not expecting anything but a negative test back. When she found out it was positive she was horrified. She realized that her husbands new wife was HIV+ and she must have infected the both of them, as well as her newborn baby. It has been 1 ½ years since she left her husband, and she has not talked with him since. She is not even aware if he knows that he is HIV+. Anna now lives with her mother. She has not told a single person about her sickness, not even her mother. She told us that her brother and sister-in-law both died, and she was so scared to tell her mother that she was now sick with the disease as well. She was hiding the tears on her face from us the entire time as she was telling the story. I could tell that she was so hurt and so embarrassed.



Friday: We were called up into the hospital in the late hours of the afternoon to help a client in the HIV clinic. We were informed that she was one of our previous clients when she was admitted into the medical ward. Upon getting there we quickly remembered who she was. This young lady was refusing to start her ARV’s for her and her child because she said that she didn’t have enough food. Her and her child are in stage 4 of the aids diseases. We talked with her for over 1 ½ hours trying to communicate to her that if she does not start the meds soon her and her child are both going to die. We asked if she had anyone to go to for help, and she said she didn’t. She was too embarrassed to ask the church for help, to reconcile with her family for help, or to ask a neighbor. She communicated to us that she would rather die than to let people know that she is sick, or to let them know that she just simply needed some food. She has already had two children die of malnutrition. And her third is so close. She has lost all measures of hope. We asked her about her faith and she responded, “I pray every few days, and I read my bible, but only because I do not have anything else to do.” When she sees herself in the future she didn’t picture anything, and when talking about her deceased children she seemed to talk in a way that gave me the vibe that she thinks that they are the lucky ones. After trying to convince her to start the ARV’s as hard as we could we talked to Dr. Bemm. We all decided that we needed to admit them, but we didn’t necessarily admit them for physical reasons. Don’t get me wrong, they are both extremely malnourished, but not to the point of death. We admitted them so that we could hopefully put hope back into her life. We admitted her to share the gospel with her, and let her know that her life does matter; her child’s life matters; and she can overcome this. We have contacted the best counselor at the hospital to talk with her and encourage her. I was also able to look up a good number of verses that talked about Hope, and how to put our trust in the Lord.

One of the main things the Lord showed me this week was how blessed I am. So many of my clients are completely alone. They have no family, no friends, and no support. This is one thing that I’ve never had to deal with. The Lord has blessed me with four amazing brothers, three amazing sister, a beautiful niece, and two of the best parents in the world. They have only encouraged me to follow my dreams, and they’ve done everything in their power to help me reach them. They not only encourage me to follow my dreams, but they encourage my friends to follow their dreams. I have so many amazing friends that I would do anything for. I would not give any of them up for the world. I would be blessed to have just one of them in my life, but the Lord has given me so many. I have had an incredible education where the teachers not only taught me about social work, but they taught me how to live. They asked about my heart and poured themselves into me.



We will be at an orphanage all week. Pray that we would have the energy of a child, so that we can love them well.

a week in the hospital